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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Ethnicity
Ugly
Long
Love
People

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
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I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
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You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
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The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
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It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
Daniel Tosh
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Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?
Daniel Tosh
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If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
Daniel Tosh
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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
Daniel Tosh
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
Daniel Tosh