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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Long
Love
People
Ethnicity
Ugly

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
Daniel Tosh
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
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I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
Daniel Tosh
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I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
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Sometimes my mind wanders other times it leaves completely.
Daniel Tosh
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No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
Daniel Tosh
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
Daniel Tosh
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
Daniel Tosh
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Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
Daniel Tosh
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
Daniel Tosh
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
Daniel Tosh