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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Jeff
Lewis
Version
Versions
Aware

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
Daniel Tosh
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh
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How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
Daniel Tosh
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I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
Daniel Tosh
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
Daniel Tosh
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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
Daniel Tosh
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The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
Daniel Tosh
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
Daniel Tosh
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
Daniel Tosh
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
Daniel Tosh
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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
Daniel Tosh
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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
Daniel Tosh
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Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
Daniel Tosh
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
Daniel Tosh
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh
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Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.
Daniel Tosh
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I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award for it, which I'm quite proud of, but I still haven't seen it. I have no plans to branch out.
Daniel Tosh