Quote

Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.

Daniel Tosh

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Jeff
Lewis
Version
Versions
Aware

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

Image
The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
Daniel Tosh
Image
You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
Daniel Tosh
Image
You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
Daniel Tosh
Image
If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
Daniel Tosh
Image
Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.
Daniel Tosh
Image
No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
Daniel Tosh
Image
My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh