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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Little
Hear
Think
Sports
Thinking
Though
Announcer
People
Less
Announcers
Black
Bob
Comes
Cows
Littles
Fast
Back
Holy
More quotes by Daniel Tosh
Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
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Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
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Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
Daniel Tosh
At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
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Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
Daniel Tosh
Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
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I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award for it, which I'm quite proud of, but I still haven't seen it. I have no plans to branch out.
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Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'
Daniel Tosh
It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
Daniel Tosh
The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
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I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
Daniel Tosh
It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
Daniel Tosh
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh
