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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Adam
Bible
Garden
Look
Firsts
Everything
Sinned
Looks
Eden
Ladies
First
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
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Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
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