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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Backwards
Hops

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
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I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
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I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
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It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
Daniel Tosh
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Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
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Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
Daniel Tosh