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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Backwards
Hops

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
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I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
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You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
Daniel Tosh