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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Gynecologist
Gynecologists
Downstairs
Dentist
Mouth
Mouths

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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
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I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
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Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.
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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
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Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
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I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
Daniel Tosh