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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Downstairs
Dentist
Mouth
Mouths
Gynecologist
Gynecologists

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Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
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You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
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I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
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I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award for it, which I'm quite proud of, but I still haven't seen it. I have no plans to branch out.
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Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
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