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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Gynecologist
Gynecologists
Downstairs
Dentist
Mouth
Mouths

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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
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I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
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If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
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Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
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No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
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