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You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Accepting
Humor
Sense
Stills
Still
Things
Acceptance
Awful
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More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Sometimes my mind wanders other times it leaves completely.
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
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You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
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It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
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The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
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Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
Daniel Tosh
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
Daniel Tosh
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I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.
Daniel Tosh