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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Like
Coffee
Women
More quotes by Daniel Tosh
You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
Daniel Tosh
I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
Daniel Tosh
Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh
Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?
Daniel Tosh
You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
Daniel Tosh
If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
Daniel Tosh
Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
Daniel Tosh
I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.
Daniel Tosh
I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
Daniel Tosh
You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
Daniel Tosh
Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
Daniel Tosh
Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
Daniel Tosh
Sometimes my mind wanders other times it leaves completely.
Daniel Tosh
Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
Daniel Tosh
I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
Daniel Tosh
Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
Daniel Tosh
The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
Daniel Tosh
I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.
Daniel Tosh
Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
Daniel Tosh
