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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Misogynist
Racist
Racism
Jokes
Funny
Persons
Person
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More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
Daniel Tosh
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
Daniel Tosh
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
Daniel Tosh
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My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.
Daniel Tosh
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No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
Daniel Tosh
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
Daniel Tosh
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I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
Daniel Tosh
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
Daniel Tosh
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I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
Daniel Tosh
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If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
Daniel Tosh
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The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
Daniel Tosh
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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
Daniel Tosh
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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
Daniel Tosh
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
Daniel Tosh
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Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
Daniel Tosh
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The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
Daniel Tosh
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
Daniel Tosh
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh