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Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Ever
Answers
Seen
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Buys
Course
Riddle
Happiness
Skip
Money
Homeless
Persons
Allowed
Person
Answer

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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
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I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.
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