Quote

Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Seen
Courses
Buys
Course
Riddle
Happiness
Skip
Money
Homeless
Persons
Allowed
Person
Answer
Ever
Answers

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.
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The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
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I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
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I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
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I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
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I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
Daniel Tosh
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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
Daniel Tosh
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
Daniel Tosh