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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Underrated
Quality
Girl

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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
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Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.
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Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.
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Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
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Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
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At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
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How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
Daniel Tosh