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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Underrated
Quality
Girl

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Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.
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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
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How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
Daniel Tosh