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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Underrated
Quality
Girl

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
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I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
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Sometimes my mind wanders other times it leaves completely.
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
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