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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Many
Letters
Make
English
Rules
Silent
Harder
Spelling
Exist
Immigrants
Learn
Illegal
Difficult
Immigration
More quotes by Daniel Tosh
I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
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I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
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I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
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Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
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My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
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If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable - unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.
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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
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It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
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Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
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