Quote

Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Many
Letters
Make
English
Rules
Silent
Harder
Spelling
Exist
Immigrants
Learn
Illegal
Difficult
Immigration

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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
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Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
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At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
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My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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