Quote

Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Started
Ladies
Come
Flat
Flats
Recently
Ball
Straight
Balls
Ironing
Hair
Curly

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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
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I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
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I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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