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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Come
Flat
Flats
Recently
Ball
Straight
Balls
Ironing
Hair
Curly
Started
Ladies

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Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
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You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
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