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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Complain
Complaining
Courses
Course
Girl
Body
Thing
Sexiest
Complaints

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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
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I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
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It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
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I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
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Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.
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Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
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