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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Complaining
Courses
Course
Girl
Body
Thing
Sexiest
Complaints
Complain

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there, we hate snakes. We think they're slimy, even though we know they're not.
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
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You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
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I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
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I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
Daniel Tosh