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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Complaining
Courses
Course
Girl
Body
Thing
Sexiest
Complaints
Complain

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
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The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
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Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?
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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
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I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there, we hate snakes. We think they're slimy, even though we know they're not.
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
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I heart abortion. Where's the shirt for that, urban outfitters?! And it won't be a normal heart. It'll be a dead infant heart. Y'know what the back will say? Problem Solved.
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If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
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Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh