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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Course
Girl
Body
Thing
Sexiest
Complaints
Complain
Complaining
Courses

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
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Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
Daniel Tosh
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My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
Daniel Tosh
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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
Daniel Tosh
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If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
Daniel Tosh
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
Daniel Tosh
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If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
Daniel Tosh
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
Daniel Tosh