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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Complaints
Complain
Complaining
Courses
Course
Girl
Body
Thing
Sexiest

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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
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At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
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Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
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Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.
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People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
Daniel Tosh