Quote

Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.

Daniel Tosh

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Times
Else
America
Sucks
Real
Patriotism
Everywhere
Worse
Thousand
Realizing

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

Image
I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
Daniel Tosh
Image
It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
Daniel Tosh
Image
You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
Daniel Tosh
Image
A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
Daniel Tosh
Image
The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
Daniel Tosh
Image
No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
Daniel Tosh
Image
If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
Daniel Tosh
Image
If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
Daniel Tosh
Image
You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
Daniel Tosh
Image
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh