Quote

Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Place
Skips
Live
Canadians
Much
Skip
Like
Unpleasant
Complain
Complaining
Seasons
Ones

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I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
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Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
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Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.
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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
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Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.
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I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
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If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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