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Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Complain
Complaining
Seasons
Ones
Place
Skips
Live
Canadians
Much
Skip
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Unpleasant
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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Sometimes my mind wanders other times it leaves completely.
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
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Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
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If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
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