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The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
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Youth
Interracial
Thinking
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Date
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Advice

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
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The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
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It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
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Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
Daniel Tosh
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
Daniel Tosh
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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
Daniel Tosh
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
Daniel Tosh