Quote

You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Never
Bowls
Lactose
Milk
Almond
Enjoy
Almonds
Dream
Intolerant
Wanted
Cereal
Live
Toilet
Whole
Toilets
Always
Bowl

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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
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I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
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Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
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I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
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The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.
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I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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