Quote

You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Milk
Almond
Enjoy
Almonds
Dream
Intolerant
Wanted
Cereal
Live
Toilet
Whole
Toilets
Always
Bowl
Never
Bowls
Lactose

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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
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My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
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