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I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Central
University
Jokes
Grew
Went
Funny
Florida
School
Ended
Going

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
Daniel Tosh
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I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
Daniel Tosh
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
Daniel Tosh
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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
Daniel Tosh
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Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?
Daniel Tosh
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
Daniel Tosh
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
Daniel Tosh
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I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
Daniel Tosh
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
Daniel Tosh
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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
Daniel Tosh
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
Daniel Tosh
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
Daniel Tosh
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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
Daniel Tosh
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
Daniel Tosh
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I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.
Daniel Tosh
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I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
Daniel Tosh
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.
Daniel Tosh
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
Daniel Tosh