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I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Jokes
Grew
Went
Funny
School
Florida
Going
Ended
Central
University

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
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You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
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I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.
Daniel Tosh
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
Daniel Tosh
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
Daniel Tosh
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Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
Daniel Tosh
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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
Daniel Tosh
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
Daniel Tosh
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
Daniel Tosh
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Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
Daniel Tosh
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
Daniel Tosh
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
Daniel Tosh
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I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
Daniel Tosh
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
Daniel Tosh
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I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
Daniel Tosh
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People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
Daniel Tosh
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
Daniel Tosh
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
Daniel Tosh