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I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Fans
Huge
Repeating
Stand
Perform
Funny
Acts
Able
Excited
Going
Material
Really
Jokes
Never
Materials

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
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I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.
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I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
Daniel Tosh