Quote

I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Matter
Whole
Grueling
Work
Touring
Made
Jokes
Every
Stand
Really
Less
Life
Funny
Night

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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
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I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
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People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
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