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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Interesting
Reply
Funny
Jokes
Spiritual
Girls
Girl
Humor
Ever
Comedy
Like
Honest
Hear
Religious

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I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
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I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
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At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
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Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
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It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
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If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
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I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
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I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there, we hate snakes. We think they're slimy, even though we know they're not.
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
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I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.
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