Quote

You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

Daniel Tosh

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Spiritual
Girls
Girl
Humor
Ever
Comedy
Like
Honest
Hear
Religious
Interesting
Reply
Funny
Jokes

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

Image
I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
Daniel Tosh
Image
If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
Daniel Tosh
Image
The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
Daniel Tosh
Image
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
Daniel Tosh
Image
Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
Daniel Tosh
Image
It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there, we hate snakes. We think they're slimy, even though we know they're not.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
Daniel Tosh
Image
You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Daniel Tosh
Image
There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award for it, which I'm quite proud of, but I still haven't seen it. I have no plans to branch out.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
Daniel Tosh