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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Sick
Humor
Supermodels
Media
Supermodel
Comedy
Athletes
Sports
Athlete
Funny
Clearly
Making
Jokes
Best
Female
More quotes by Daniel Tosh
The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
Daniel Tosh
I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.
Daniel Tosh
I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
Daniel Tosh
You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
Daniel Tosh
Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
Daniel Tosh
I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
Daniel Tosh
It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
Daniel Tosh
I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
Daniel Tosh
People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
Daniel Tosh
The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
Daniel Tosh
I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.
Daniel Tosh
I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
Daniel Tosh
You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
Daniel Tosh
Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
Daniel Tosh
Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh
Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
Daniel Tosh
You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
Daniel Tosh
I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
Daniel Tosh
You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
Daniel Tosh
