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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Comedy
Athletes
Sports
Athlete
Funny
Clearly
Making
Jokes
Best
Female
Sick
Humor
Supermodels
Media
Supermodel

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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
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If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
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Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
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I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.
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I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
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I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
Daniel Tosh