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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Bills
Influence
Huge
Love
Hicks
Bill

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
Daniel Tosh
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
Daniel Tosh
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I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
Daniel Tosh
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
Daniel Tosh
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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
Daniel Tosh
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You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
Daniel Tosh
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
Daniel Tosh
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
Daniel Tosh
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
Daniel Tosh
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
Daniel Tosh
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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
Daniel Tosh
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
Daniel Tosh
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
Daniel Tosh
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
Daniel Tosh
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
Daniel Tosh
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
Daniel Tosh