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I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Mean
Taker
Test
Tests
Stupid

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
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You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
Daniel Tosh
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You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
Daniel Tosh
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No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
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Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
Daniel Tosh
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Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.
Daniel Tosh
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You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
Daniel Tosh