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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Honest
Interesting

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
Daniel Tosh
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
Daniel Tosh
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
Daniel Tosh
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I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
Daniel Tosh
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
Daniel Tosh
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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Daniel Tosh
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
Daniel Tosh
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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
Daniel Tosh
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I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
Daniel Tosh
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People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.
Daniel Tosh
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
Daniel Tosh
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Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
Daniel Tosh
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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
Daniel Tosh
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh
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You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
Daniel Tosh
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
Daniel Tosh
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
Daniel Tosh
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God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
Daniel Tosh