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I had this idea about terrible things happening to orphans, and I knew it was such a horrible idea that the idea of writing it down and then submitting it professionally was obviously absurd.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Happening
Submitting
Terrible
Orphans
Knew
Professionally
Idea
Orphan
Ideas
Absurd
Writing
Obviously
Things
Happenings
Horrible

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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted.
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I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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In times of extreme stress, one can often find energy hidden in even the most exhausted areas of the body.
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I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.
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Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.
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If you have ever had a miserable experience, then you have probably had it said to you that you would feel better in the morning. This, of course, is utter nonsense, because a miserable experience remains a miserable experience even on the loveliest of morning.
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I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor.
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The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the mystery that surrounds them.
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
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A bolt from the blue.
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
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As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]
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