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I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Ideas
Stolen
Everything
Effect
Effects
Everybody
Powerful
Idea
Found
Else

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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
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Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
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Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.
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The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn't have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It's why we broke up, so here it is. Ed, how could you?
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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
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It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
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I do what I do, I said, in order to do something else.
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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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A mystery is solved with a story.
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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
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I opened my mouth and kissed you then, the first time all night, attacked you and surrendered completely, and let’s get out of here. I’m ready, I’m finished, let’s not break up, no, no. Take me home, my boyfriend, my love.
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
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There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.
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For obvious reasons, I never told you about my notebook, with a cover as green as mansions long ago, which I use as a commonplace book, a phrase which here means 'place where I have collected passages from some of the most important books I have read.
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One has to adopt a sort of Zen calm, in which you know you wrote the best book that you could at the time.
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With the publishing of The Basic Eight, it was often assumed that I was really immature and callow, and with the publishing of Watch Your Mouth, it was assumed that I was oversexualized, and with Lemony Snicket, it's often assumed that I'm erudite and depressed. But all the voices more or less came naturally to me.
Daniel Handler