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When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it's actually just a history of desperate people.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
History
Nonfiction
Book
Desperate
People
Realize
Realizing
Books
Start
Reading
Actually
Piracy

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who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
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For Beatrice- When we were together I felt breathless. Now you are.
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Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
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Certain people have said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action.
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When I was researching my very first novel, The Basic Eight, I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.
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And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.
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Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.
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You can't believe everything you read.
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The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn't have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It's why we broke up, so here it is. Ed, how could you?
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Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the mystery that surrounds them.
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Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.
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...that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together
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People worry more about girls, for a good reason: I don't think my parents thought I was going to be raped by a classmate or attacked when I was walking alone in some neighborhood. So it's not just paranoid parents.
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The end of 'The End' is the best place to begin 'The End', because if you read 'The End' from the beginning of the beginning of 'The End' to the end of the end of 'The End', you will arrive at the end.
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Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory' means that if you don't show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.
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Beef. Yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted.
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
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I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.
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