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People worry more about girls, for a good reason: I don't think my parents thought I was going to be raped by a classmate or attacked when I was walking alone in some neighborhood. So it's not just paranoid parents.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Girl
Attacked
Thought
Neighborhood
Reason
Girls
Going
Walking
Good
Parents
Classmate
Think
Worry
Classmates
Thinking
Parent
Raped
People
Alone
Paranoid

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I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy.
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It seems to me that oftentimes in young relationships once there's a problem of some significance then it's almost like they're both racing for the dumper buzzer.
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Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.
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Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
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Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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I’m not a cuckoo, either. I’m a fool is what.
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Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.
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For Beatrice, summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder.
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It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.
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So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.
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I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.
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The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.
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Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
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A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult. In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
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I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.
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Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?
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This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
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