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So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
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Books
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Charming
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When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
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No reality has the power to dispel a dream.
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.
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Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
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You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by.
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The whole thing of what I’ve been trying,” you said, “is that you’re different, and you keep asking about the other girls, but what I mean is that I don’t think about them, because of the way you are.
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If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.
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It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
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Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.
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Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
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I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.
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It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
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The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.
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