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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Letting
Horrible
Nation
Happen
Nations
Happens
Children
Things
Flunking

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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why.
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After a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.
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This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love.
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There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.
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Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.
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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
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There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
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There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
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Every last souvenir of the love we had, the prizes & the debris of this relationship, like the glitter in the gutter when the parade has passed, all the everything & whatnot kicked to the curb.
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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
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It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
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Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated.
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
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Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.
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For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.
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I stand entwined in fire on the inextinguishable bonfire of inconceivable love.
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