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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Nations
Happens
Children
Things
Flunking
Letting
Horrible
Nation
Happen

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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
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I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
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In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between.
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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
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It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
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Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
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Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.
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Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
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It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn't know.
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There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.
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Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
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Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to stop it all over again.
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In times of extreme stress, one can often find energy hidden in even the most exhausted areas of the body.
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There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by.
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It seems to me that oftentimes in young relationships once there's a problem of some significance then it's almost like they're both racing for the dumper buzzer.
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It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
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