Quote

We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.

Daniel Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Happens
Children
Things
Flunking
Letting
Horrible
Nation
Happen
Nations

More quotes by Daniel Handler

Image
They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.
Daniel Handler
Image
I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
Daniel Handler
Image
They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
Daniel Handler
Image
Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.
Daniel Handler
Image
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
Daniel Handler
Image
Sometimes words are not enough.
Daniel Handler
Image
It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.
Daniel Handler
Image
This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
Daniel Handler
Image
The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.
Daniel Handler
Image
Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.
Daniel Handler
Image
...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Daniel Handler
Image
Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
Daniel Handler
Image
Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
Daniel Handler
Image
and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
Daniel Handler
Image
If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, but most of us would say something more along the lines of, Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!
Daniel Handler
Image
The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don’t know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.
Daniel Handler
Image
Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
Daniel Handler
Image
...the moron who thought love was forever.
Daniel Handler
Image
I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
Daniel Handler
Image
There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
Daniel Handler