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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Happen
Nations
Happens
Children
Things
Flunking
Letting
Horrible
Nation

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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We are respecting our parents' wishes....They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them.
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It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world
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One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
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How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.” “My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.
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I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind automatically went to any terrible thing that could happen.
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
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Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to stop it all over again.
Daniel Handler
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Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
Daniel Handler
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If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket.
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Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
Daniel Handler
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Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.
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I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
Daniel Handler
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It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.
Daniel Handler
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
Daniel Handler
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If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.
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There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.
Daniel Handler
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they've been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.
Daniel Handler