Quote

Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Feet
Ready
Taffy
Water
Seagull
Thing
Smack
Love
Pour
Like
Salt
Ocean
Gets

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I can't think of a story that doesn't have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it's dull. So when I embarked into the world of picture books, my first thought was to do something about the dark.
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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
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The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth both have first-person voices, and I ended up investigating those voices and investing so much in them that I think many people took them more seriously than they ought to have.
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They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
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This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
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-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.
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It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs
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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
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This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.
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You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.
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I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.
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I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
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