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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Taste
Like
Doughnut
Cookie
Cookies
Tastes
Coffee
Sex

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down
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Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by.
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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
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The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
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Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.
Daniel Handler
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Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
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Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
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Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
Daniel Handler
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It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.
Daniel Handler
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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
Daniel Handler
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Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.
Daniel Handler
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If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
Daniel Handler
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It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.
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I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.
Daniel Handler
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In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between.
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who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
Daniel Handler
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I can't think of a story that doesn't have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it's dull. So when I embarked into the world of picture books, my first thought was to do something about the dark.
Daniel Handler
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In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied I love you back and not I love your back before you continue the conversation.
Daniel Handler